{"id":332,"date":"2014-07-15T13:23:36","date_gmt":"2014-07-15T13:23:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/melaniebaldonado.com\/?p=332"},"modified":"2014-10-01T23:56:20","modified_gmt":"2014-10-02T06:56:20","slug":"my-mythical-dream-relationship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/melaniebaldonado.com\/?p=332","title":{"rendered":"My Mythical Dream Relationship"},"content":{"rendered":"

My mythical\u00a0dream first date:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Him:\u00a0 I\u00a0know this is our first date and we’ve only been talking for a couple of hours, but.. do you want to get married?
\nMe:\u00a0 Vegas?
\nHim: I’ll drive.
\nMe:\u00a0 I don’t know if I want to be stuck for 4 hours in a car with an almost stranger\u00a0 …\u00a0\u00a0 Let’s fly.
\nHim: Okay.\u00a0 I’ll arrange the flights and send the uber for you in….\u00a0 how much time do you need to pack, and how long do you want to stay?<\/p>\n

\n<\/blockquote>\n

At the end of the month we will\u00a0find a place and move in together.\u00a0\u00a0Unless he wants me to move into his place.\u00a0\u00a0And no he can’t move into my place because I have a girly place and a gentleman never moves into the lady’s place.\u00a0 I’d rather we found a new one.\u00a0\u00a0Upon moving in, we\u00a0meet on the couch after our respective jobs and live a rather chilled lifestyle.<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

This is a\u00a0mythical dream-marriage\u00a0couch conversation:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Him:\u00a0 My Dad’s birthday is in\u00a0a couple of weeks.
\nMe:\u00a0 That’s cool!\u00a0 What’s his name?
\nHim:\u00a0 Herbert.
\nMe: Like the president?
\nHim: Yeah.
\nMe: Sweet.
\nHim:\u00a0 Want to fly out with me and meet my parents?
\nMe: Yeah, but can we tell them I’m your girlfriend?\u00a0 You know I’m not into parental pressure.\u00a0 Plus, “wife” sounds so formal.
\nHim: Sure, if you like, or I can just introduce you as Melanie and tell them they might as well get used to you, because I dig your spirit.
\nMe: You totally get me.\u00a0 I love you.\u00a0 *KISS*<\/p>\n

\n<\/blockquote>\n

This is another\u00a0mythical dream-marriage couch conversation:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

Me: Do you want some Scotch?
\nHim: Sure.<\/p>\n

\n

\n<\/blockquote>\n

And yet\u00a0another<\/em>\u00a0mythical dream-marriage couch conversation:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Him: It’s good to see you.
\nMe: I feel the same way about you. Want to take a bath together?
\nHim: Nah, let’s just get in the actual Jacuzzi.
\nMe: Okay.<\/p>\n

\n

Did I fail to mention that the “HIM” is ideally Quentin Tarantino? But if I can\u2019t get Quentin, I\u2019ll settle for my soul mate. <\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

xoxoxo and thank you for reading!!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My mythical\u00a0dream first date: Him:\u00a0 I\u00a0know this is our first date and we’ve only been talking for a couple of hours, but.. do you want to get married? Me:\u00a0 Vegas? Him: I’ll drive. Me:\u00a0 I don’t know if I want to be stuck for 4 hours in a car with an almost stranger\u00a0 …\u00a0\u00a0 Let’s fly. Him: Okay.\u00a0 I’ll arrange the flights and send the uber for you in….\u00a0 how …Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4566,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[336,435,333,431,429],"tags":[445,446,447,448,449,450,451,452,453,454,455,456,457,568,437,458,459,460,461,462,463,464,465,466,467],"class_list":["post-332","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-comedy-2","category-female-comedian","category-funny-standup-comedian","category-improv-comedy","category-standup-comedian","tag-advice","tag-bath","tag-dating","tag-dream","tag-herbert","tag-jacuzzi","tag-marriage","tag-quentin","tag-scotch","tag-tarantino","tag-wedding","tag-baldonado","tag-comedian","tag-comedienne","tag-comedy","tag-comic","tag-funny","tag-love","tag-mate","tag-melanie","tag-relationships","tag-soul","tag-soulmate","tag-uber","tag-vegas"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/melaniebaldonado.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/332","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/melaniebaldonado.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/melaniebaldonado.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melaniebaldonado.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melaniebaldonado.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=332"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/melaniebaldonado.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/332\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4725,"href":"https:\/\/melaniebaldonado.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/332\/revisions\/4725"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melaniebaldonado.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4566"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/melaniebaldonado.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=332"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melaniebaldonado.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=332"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/melaniebaldonado.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=332"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}